It's all about her love...

Love is the most wonderful feeling which most of us experience...Knowingly or unknowingly... We might have never thought of love. But when we meet some one, we unknowingly fall in love... We might never know whether it is love. But there would be a deep wish in heart which makes us long, to spend time with them... And the fate decides whether the two people can join hands as couples...
If situation favors, and when we get to know about each other, when we start to get the feel that, we are happy... even in spite of whatever other problems we have... when we get to feel that...there is someone for us, to take care of...to love us... to guide us... I bet you...that would be the most wonderful feeling in life... Let me tell you what happened in Charu's life...

Chapter 1:
May 9th 2004, Sunday

I was entering the class by 9.45 am. I saw only two more students in the class. Both were guys. I saw their shirt color. One in sandal T shirt and the other I don’t remember. I felt embarrassed to look at their faces. Finally, I gathered strength and asked, "M.B.A coaching class……." Well it is obvious that I couldn't make a complete sentence; I got the reply, "yes" from the sandal shirt guy.
As the time passed, slowly students started entering the class. Three ended up with 30. I saw students speaking in different languages like Tamil, English, Hindi and Bengali. And people seemed different. All seemed to be very trendy. I wondered how I am going to study in such a different atmosphere.
The class coordinator entered. She was dark, thin with cropped hair. She asked each one of us to introduce ourselves. I was sitting in the second row; totally five rows, I prayed God that the girl sitting in the last row should start first. Because by the time most of them complete their intro, I could gather strength to introduce myself.
The first girl started, "I am Radhika, from NIT, Trichy. I am doing my 4th year engineering in Electronics and Communication"
I wondered "Oh... NIT...must be really brilliant. But me”?
The next guy, "I am a business man dealing with imports and exports and I wish to Master in Business Administration from IIM's. That's the aim of my life"
I asked myself, "What is IIM?"
My turn came, I had a pen in my hand, trying not to show my shivering hands to others, "Hi…………hmm... I am Charu…. from Holy Cross College, doing my third year in Physics." And I just sat.
I heard some guy speaking in a low voice... "Oh... Holy Cross ah..."
Our Mam told us about our class timings, the pattern of previous year question paper, and its toughness and so on... I know I was not feeling comfortable with all hep students with me. The session got over by one o clock. Everyone started leaving the class, including me.

Chapter 2:

Let me tell you about Charu.

Charu is the only child for her parents who lives in trichy, a small city in Tamilnadu. A very calm girl and an intelligent girl in her studies. She never knew much about life, its problems and about the world. Her small house was everything for her. She studies most of the time. And when she finds time, she likes drawing and reading story books.
She passed tenth with 90% and got into Computer Science group - A lonely girl in the class without many friends. Days passed. She completed her twelfth. But didn't score enough marks to get through engineering college in Government's quota. Her family's financial problem didn't help her get an engineering seat.
As she was weak in maths and hated chemistry equations, she joined B.Sc Physics, without much interest. But her dream was doing engineering... She passed with distinction in her semester exams. By the end of second year, with her friends and lecturer's assistance, she decided to do something in life and she thought of doing MBA.
She enquired about the good coaching centres and joined TIME centre one of the best coaching canters for MBA, in trichy. Classes three days a week, on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Chapter 3:

May 10th, 2004 Monday

Class timings: 6 to 8.
I reached class by 5.50. Some ten students were sitting in the class. Few have already started working on aptitude related papers. Few guys were chatting. I saw two more girls, who were busy speaking. So I just entered the class room and sat in the corner of the first row. I was writing my name on the first page of the note and was making some design to pass the time till tutor comes to class.
After some time a man entered the class. He was tall, very fair - might be a guy of around his early thirties. Very charming. He introduced himself as Lakshman and told that he will deal with problems related to time and work. He said he will start from the basic, but for me it was like, Greek and Latin. His standard was very high which I couldn't follow. Quarter passed six, the sandal color t-shirt guy came to class (the one whom I saw in the first class), but today he was wearing a black t shirt and I was wearing black chudi (?). Felt happy. Didn't know why. Regarding subject, I just wrote in the notebook whatever Sir wrote on the board. Then and there shaking head in the positive manner whenever he asks “Can you get me?".
It was 7 o clock, when he told that, you have a small test on a question paper for an hour which covers GK, aptitude, verbal communication and maths. It was easy for me to pass that one hour as I don have much knowledge in any of the questions, especially maths. It was just choosing one among the four options. But I didn't use inky pinky ponky techniques on all questions as I was aware that, there are also negative marks for wrong answers. It was 8.15 when I submitted the paper and came out of the class.

Chapter 4:

May 26th Friday, 2004

On Wednesday we had maths class for two hours. Nothing significant happened on that day. And today, I never expected that, there would be a GD (Group discussion). The one who initiates and has more points to speak on the topic would be considered as the lead of the group and would get more points.
Our Sir asked us to arrange the chairs in a circle such that some 15 people can form a group and discuss on a particular topic. The topic given to the group was, "Is spending large amount of money and conducting Olympics, necessary?" as the money spent on it can be used much in an effective way for the welfare of the country.
It was a big group. I just looked around all the people; all took a paper and started writing down some points. And a few others were even ready to start the conversation. A girl introduced herself as Reshma and started the Group Discussion. Her English was awesome and Anand another guy introduced himself and started adding his views. Hmmm… I just wanted to see who was sitting next to me... It was that guy who wore Sandal color shirt on first class. I was waiting as when he will start speaking on the topic, so that I can come to know his name. J Also I could feel my hands were getting cold because of tension. Even after some half an hour of the GD I couldn't write a single point to speak on the topic.
The guy next to me was about to tell his points. I was keen. I was happy that, I can see him for sometime when he speaks. He introduced his name as Hemanth Kumar. I liked his name very much. He spoke well, even if he spoke little. I wished to prove that, I too can speak well, but had no points in mind about the subject. Also I was too nervous.
It was just ten minutes for the class to get over; Sir remarked that, there are some silent participants in the group. He was seeing me. Other than bowing my head down, what I can do? But there were two more in the group who gave company to me, who too had difficulty in speaking in the crowd. After class, as usual I walked alone towards house. Came home, I wrote in my diary as “it was the worst day in my life.” I cried telling God, as why he made me feel ashamed in front of everybody. I told amma to get The Hindu newspaper everyday so that I can learn more about Current Events, and can improve my vocabs and speak English well. I also decided to speak only in English in college in the third year.

Chapter 5:

June 25, 2004, Friday

As usual class from 6 to 8. It was more than two months since I joined class. I was able to speak quite well with Reshma and another girl namely Ramya who has done her BE. By now, I had gained confidence to speak English. It was coz I spoke English in college and with my friends.
A girl named Deepa, came for MBA class today, I later heard that, she too belong to my college and she is doing her B.Sc in Maths. I was happy that, even though it was the first day, we got introduced to each other well and I thought I have got a good company for me.

Chapter 6:

September 13th Monday

After class around eight Deepa will go home by her scooty, and I have noticed Hemanth will go home by his Bike. But I don't know from which place he comes. I once remember him telling that, he was doing his BCA III year in Bishop Heber College, Trichy, during a self introduction section. Nothing more I knew about him.
On that day, I saw him, instead of taking his bike; he was going in the same path through which I go home. His friend accompanied him. I was thinking as why he is taking this way. And I also saw him speaking over mobile. (In trichy it was bit rare to a college guy using mobile a few years ago.) I was just following him. He also once turned and saw me. But he didn't mind me. I guess he is going to bus stand. But my way is different; I crossed the road and headed towards my home.

Chapter 7:

October 3rd Sunday

Every Sunday we have model CAT exam in a school in Chathram bus stand. I have attended more than eight exams every Sunday. Usually I will start from home by bus, reach the exam centre by 9.45. Just will say hi to some girls, write exam and start home after one. Today Fatima, of my same batch asked me to accompany her in the bus. She stays in KK Nagar. And her bus will go through my bus stop only.... We both got a bus and we were casually speaking about CAT exams.... She was sitting in the window corner, and I was sitting next to her.
Hemanth also got the same bus which we boarded and he sat in the seat, opposite to our seat... I felt very happy and even knowing I asked Fatima, "Fathi, this guy belongs to our batch know..." She replied, "Yes, Yes and she said casually that his name is Hemanth Kumar... I said “Oh, I never knew. J "
She also added just like that, “I like Hemanth Kumar, he looks very smart". "Hmmm... Did I ask her whether she likes him or not." She of course said in a casual way. But I was little furious...
She said that, she wishes to speak to him and she called him the next moment...
“Hi Hemanth", He turned and smiled at her and said "Hi"...
She asked him, "Where is your house?" he replied, it is in LIC colony...
She: Oh, is it so... I stay in KK nagar only. So...how did you do your tests...?
He: He was keep laughing for some time and then said, "Etho, ok than”...
She: How is your preparation going on for CAT exam, where would you wish to join...? Do you aim for IIM's...?
He: He was again laughing for sometime... (I was wondering why he was laughing for no reason...)
Then he replied... preparation ah...for CAT exam ah... Etho...it is going... Namma range ku ellam... IIM is too high... I just wish to end up in a good college...That’s all...
She: Oh... that's ok...
I was sitting in the middle and they both were speaking. I couldn't say even a Hi to him... But I was happy that, when he was seeing and speaking to Fatima, I was able to see his face... I also felt much upset that, I will be getting down in two stops and they have a minimum of 45 minutes to reach their place by bus and they can speak for a long time till they reach home and they can become good friends. I was disturbed.
"Then...thank God", God heard my worries I suppose... When the bus was about to start, Hemanth's friend Karthik, boarded the bus and Hemanth was expecting him I suppose and Karthik seated next to Hemanth and started speaking. So Fatima couldn't continue her conversation with him and I felt happy. I got down from bus in my stop happily...
The next day, in class, I asked Fathi...whether she spoke to Hemanth after I got down from the bus... she said... NO... I felt very happy... She said that, he said Bye when he got down from the bus...
"Nothing much to worry... He said only Bye...J "

Chapter 8:

October 10th Sunday, 2004

I came to class, thinking whether today too while returning, Will I and Fatima board the bus together and will Hemanth too board the bus and at least today, will I speak to him... I completed the exam soon and I waited for Fatima and we both boarded a KK Nagar bus... but today Hemanth didn't come to exam I guess. Because I searched for him in the exam hall and he was not there... I thought that I would have missed seeing him... If he had come for exam, he will surely board the bus... But there are chances that, he might have boarded some other bus or would have gone in his bike... I felt sad... I asked Fatima casually, “Did you see Hemanth in the exam hall today." she said that, she didn't see him... I felt sad. Said bye to her, got down at my stop and reached home...
The next day when I went to class in the evening, I waited for Hemanth's arrival. I sat next to Fathi...the class started. He came to class ten minutes after the class started... I felt happy... When the class ended, Fathi asked Hemanth, whether he came for exam yesterday. He said that, he had some other work and so he didn't attend the exam... I got a bit worried whether, today both of them will go home in bus together speaking...
But God favored me this time also, Fathi usually goes home by auto, and Hemanth went in bike with his friend to home...

Chapter 9:

October 17th Sunday, 2004

Sundays started becoming special to me... Because during weekdays we won't have time to speak as he usually comes late to class. So on Sundays only I can speak to him, if he too boards the same bus...
This Sunday made me angrier...
After exam, as usual I and Fathi boarded KK Nagar bus and we were talking... I was praying God that Hemanth should also board the same bus...Hemanth boarded the same bus... Today he sat in the seat back to ours...and said Hi...
As usual Fathi said a big HI... and I just smiled at him...
He asked Fathi, whether she knows Manjula of her college, doing B.com...
Fathi is doing her B.Sc Maths in Cauvery College.
She replied, NO...
(I was thinking as why he should ask about that girl to Fathi... Who is SHE to Hemanth...? Is she his girl friend...I kept thinking and my thoughts were interrupted by Fathi's next question to Hemanth...
Fathi: Hey...who is she to you... tell me...
Hemanth: She is just my friend's friend...that’s all... (As usual he laughs)
Fathi: Hey…no no...You are hiding…tell me the truth... She is your friend's friend... its ok... who is she to you...
Hemanth: smiles for some time...Hey...please believe me know...I casually asked about her to you... I have not even seen her you know...
Fathi: Ok... Ok... nambaren... (“I believe you”...)
(What can I speak on this topic which is not related to me...? But any how I desperately wanted to speak to him today and I just asked him... “How you did your exam today?"
Hemanth: He didn't smile this time. He just said, hmmm. Etho panni irukken... (I did ok...)
( I don know what else to speak...again the same worry for me...He sits in the back seat...and now they both have started speaking well too... so now...after I get down they both can speak for a long time... will I too become a friend of him... oh God...what should I do to become his friend...
As we were sitting in the seat, which belongs to women and as he was sitting back of our's, two ladies who came, asked him to sit on the other side where one guy sat... So he moved to the other side... "Happah...da... thank you God... very much and when I got down I said bye to Fathi and I longed to tell bye to Hemanth also...
As I was about to get down the steps, I saw Hemanth, he too saw me, I said "bye...and he too said...ok bye..." I felt extremely happy... J
Chapter 10:
October 31st Sunday, 2004
Morning I boarded a bus to reach Chathram bus stand for attending exam... When I got down in Chathram, from the front side steps of the bus, he too got down from the back side of the bus...(He means Hemanth... J ) When we both got down we smiled at each other as we saw...we started walking together and entered the center...
The campus was big and we had some time to speak..."
Me: This is our last exam know... Here after we won’t have any more Modal exams...
Hemanth: Yap... Directly we have to write our CAT exam...on Nov 21st...
Me: How about your Semester exams... When your college exam starts...
Hemanth: ha...ha...ha...there comes a big joke... My semester exam starts on Nov 22 nd...
Me: What on Nov 22nd ah... will you be able to manage both... Aren't you worried?
Hemanth: Worried ah... nothing like that... For CAT exams we can't prepare the day before exam and for Semester I will prepare only the night before the exam... So...what's there to worry...? (He laughs...)
Me: Thank god...my exams end by Nov 18th... but still I was worrying... but really you are too cool... By the by where is your CAT exam center...
Hemanth: I have been given Ethiraj College in Chennai as centre...
Me: Oh... (I was sad to hear this) I too opted for Chennai and I got my center as Raja Rajeshwari Engineering College in Chennai...
Hemanth: oh...oh...ok fine... My friends are waiting for me and we shall speak later, ok... bye...
Me: Ok Hemanth... Bye... J
(I felt sad... As I don know whether I will get chance to meet and speak to him again... In my life...as far as I know... the only guy, whom I liked and I thought of speaking, was Hemanth...We have got different examination centre. I can't come to MBA class as my college exams are nearing.... I need to prepare for it... So...all my wish of becoming Hemanth's friend ended here...)
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(Did it really end?………………………………...)
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(No... It started again…newly...in a fresh way...)

Chapter 11:

January 10th 2005, Monday

One...is always my favorite number and lucky number too... I always opt for number one when asked to say some number in any situation... January...the first month and the dates... 1+ 0 = 1, became an Unforgettable day in my life...
I was in my college... On Friday we have been asked to bring our 10th and 12th mark sheets and all the Xerox copies of Semester marks which we have written till then. And also two passport size photos of ours...It has been told to us that, we have a Campus Interview in Bishop Heber college on Monday...We have not been informed much as which company is coming or nothing more about the interview.
But we just brought everything, which was mentioned.
I wore a yellow color saree on that day, a very simple one... We all reached our college and from our college we started to Bishop Heber College...
More than the interview...the thought that came to mind immediately as I heard the name of the college was… (Yes...as you people have guessed ...) It is Hemanth... He studies in the same college...
The moment I entered college I was thinking about him... I was praying God badly that I wish to meet him... God will not favor us always...
We entered into the auditorium... The auditorium was very huge...already all the seats were filled and people were standing round the corners... We heard that, six best colleges were chosen in trichy and have come here for attending the campus interview... Bishop Heber College and our college were one among them... The company's name was Cognizant Technology Solutions... It is one of the fastest growing IT company... 20,000 + people are working for it by now...and the head count is increasing rapidly year by year...
It has been told that, they conduct two rounds of test for recruiting people... First round is aptitude test and the next round is Personal Interview. For three colleges the aptitude test will be conducted in the morning session and for the rest three colleges, the aptitude test will be conducted in the afternoon session... Bishop Heber students had test in the morning session and our college in the afternoon session... So we were waiting outside the hall... I kept thinking of Hemanth, whether he would be here in the college... there were around 850 + students who are going to attend this campus interview...how am I going to find him out from lots...
Even though Bishop Heber students were writing test inside the hall, due to lack of place, I found two guys of the same college waiting outside the hall and I knew they are Hemanth's friend... I searched for Hemanth among them... But…. L he was not there... The second set of students was asked to be ready to attend the aptitude test. We were waiting in front of hall... the first set of students were coming out of the auditorium where they wrote the test... The first person whom I saw coming out of the Auditorium was……………………………………………………………………………………………………. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….Hemanth… Chance less...
My happiness grew unbound... I showed him to two of my friends and told them that, he studied with me in MBA... didn't say anything more... I was just flying in air... But I am sure that, he couldn’t find me out in the crowd. He came down discussing something with his friend, came and took his bike and started out from college...
It was around 1 o clock when we entered the auditorium, and took seats to write the aptitude test. I was tensed, but at the same time I was very happy. I had a bit confidence that I can do well as I have prepared well for CAT exams which is much more tough than this aptitude test, And as I thought, the test was easy and I was sure that most of the answers were correct. We were told that, the results will be announced by five in the evening and the personal interview will be scheduled after that...
It was a two hour test and the test ended by three... Most of the students were tensed...and were discussing the question papers... The thought that filled my mind was only Hemanth...
We were sitting in the corridor and speaking... I was looking through the college gate expecting Hemanth would come, because all the students who took the aptitude test were asked to assemble before the auditorium by five...When I was starring at the college gate, I couldn’t believe my eyes, Hemanth came in bike. I kept looking at him, till his friend stopped him at a distance of hundred feet from where I sat... I was sure that, Hemanth would not have noticed me as I was sitting in a midst of group... but again it was unbelievable... He turned looked at me and smiled... I too gave a bad smile not knowing how to respond him instantly... I really didn't expect that, he would notice me, remember me and smile at me... Thank you once again God... J
Then by five o clock... one person took and came the selected students list and started reading the short listed names one by one... 1…2....3....4....5… My name was read... I felt very happy... The next thought which immediately came to my mind was that of Hemanth's...
I was thinking...he too is a brilliant student and would have got selected surely... I prayed God that, he too must get selected... I started dreaming as how nice it would be...if we both get selected for the same company and if we work together in the same office... Wow... My dream made me too happy... and I wished to know immediately whether he got selected or not... but the problem was I was asked to be ready to attend the interview by 5.30 itself. It was already quarter passed five...and we have to collect some form from one place...Fill it up and we were asked to attach photocopy and were asked to be ready with the file containing all related Xerox copies... We were more tensed...as we have to do everything fast and neat ... It was told that, the list of candidates who got selected and the time of interview is pasted in the notice board... I rushed to the notice board in spite of my shortage of time. I was searching for the name Hemanth from Bishop Heber College... Ya...it was there... Thank you God... Great... J and I saw that, he was also scheduled to attend the interview by five thirty... I longed to see him... I wanted to wish him all the best for the interview and to get his wish back from him too...
I filled all the forms and arranged everything in proper order, checked it all once again and waited in front of the auditorium... At the same time around ten people were interviewed by ten HR guys... When I reached the auditorium, I was the third person in the line to be interviewed... I was searching for Hemanth as he was also scheduled at the same time, I saw him speaking to his friend, but he didn't see me. His name was called and he went in. He didn't see me. But I kept seeing him. I prayed God for his selection. Then after a few minutes I was called. A man around his 40 years of age took interview... He asked a few questions on my major Physics, few on maths, three puzzles and some current affair questions. I am sure, I was not scared. I answered them with poise ... I was able to answer all Physics related questions which was not very tough and I found the answer for two puzzles. Current affair questions also I was able to answer well as I have prepared for CAT exams... I felt that the interviewer was quite satisfied with my answers... The interview went for around some twenty five minutes. As I was the first person in my college to be interviewed, all my friends surrounded me and asked about the details of my interview... I was answering their questions, at the same time; my eyes didn't stop searching Hemanth... At last I found him speaking to his friend.
After I have cleared their doubts I was speaking to my friend Punitha, who is scheduled to attend the interview tomorrow... When I was speaking to her, I found Hemanth walking by that way. So I got excuse from Punitha and I called his name Hemanth... He stopped and said Hi...
Me: Hi... How are you...? Do you remember me...?
Hemanth: Hmmm... I am fine... I remember you very well... How about you...
Me: I am also doing fine... How was your interview...?
Hemanth: Ya... it was ok... I didn't do very well... How have you done your interview...?
Me: I too have done ok... Don know what will be the result... I didn't answer one puzzle.
Hemanth: What...you didn't answer only one puzzle ah... I didn't answer many questions. I told answers for a few questions which he asked related to my subject, for the other questions I just straight away told, I don't know...
Me: What... did you say...you don't know? ...
Hemanth: Then what... If we don't know the answer means...we have to say that only... (He laughed...) How about you’re CAT results...
Me: Hmmm...Have got...But the score was not very good... I didn't apply for any colleges... Hmmm... How about you...
Hemanth: My score too is not very good...
He told his score and he said that, he applied for Amrita College in Coimbatore...has attended Group Discussion and waiting for the results...
Me: If you get this job will you go for Job or will you study MBA...
Hemanth: This is a very good company. If I get a job, I will surely join the company...
Me: oh... that's fine...and like that, we were speaking for half an hour... I wished to continue speaking...but it was getting late and I need to go home... I felt that time as why not the time clocks stop now...
Hemanth: which way you will be going to your house? (I guess he asked because he could drop me in his bike...) (Before I answered, he remembered suddenly I suppose...which way I will take to my house, as he has seen me getting down from bus...when we return after writing Modal CAT exam...)
Hmmm...... We need to take the opposite direction right?
Me: Yes
When I was about to leave the place, he asked my phone number... I gave him... He asked me if there would be any problem if he calls to my house number... That time I couldn't understand anything... I said... no...No no problem...
He also told me that, he might not call me for sure... he will call me if he gets placement in a good company... We both said bye and left the place...
I am a fool... he asked my number, but I didn't... I forgot in the hurry...
Hmm...That’s all... what else… I reached home and I explained my parents everything... (About the interview)
The interview results will be announced tomorrow... couldn't sleep well today night... Not because of tension of tomorrows result... But because of happiness in my mind that, I spoke to Hemanth... I was keep thinking what all we spoke...Don’t know when I slept... J
Chapter 12:
January 11th 2005, Tuesday
Got up as usual... I have decided to go to Bishop Heber College in the afternoon after having lunch... Because any way the results will be announced only in the evening... Punitha called me for giving company to her till she attends the interview... that's y I thought of going early... Really... I didn't wish to go early for seeing Hemanth... J
Reached college by two... Punitha was yet to attend the interview... she was preparing for it... I was just standing in the second floor which was straight to the entrance and was seeing whether Hemanth comes...
I was just moving here and there around the campus till five... I didn't see Hemanth... ---... Interview was over... We were told that the results will be announced shortly... First Bishop Heber college students were called to enter the room.... All guys went in... But I didn't find Hemanth... I didn't see him going in...The selected students’ names were called from the list one by one...Students started coming out after hearing the results. I didn't find Hemanth. Our college students were also asked to come in... Only now I got tensed, to hear the results... I was praying that, I should get selected, also Hemanth... My name was third in the list... Chanse illa... I was so happy... I thanked God and started praying that, Hemanth too should have got selected...as I don't know about his results yet...
After the results were announced for all the colleges, the selected students were asked to assemble in a hall... We heard that, out of 850 students, 85 students were selected... The names were called one by one and they gave the offer letter in hand... I was sitting in the first row and I saw all the people who got their offer letter. His name was not read...and he didn't collect the offer letter. I felt so bad... I felt much worried... I wished to see him badly on that day... I roamed in the college for sometime even after getting the offer letter while others were busy starting home and making calls to let their parents and friends to let them know about the placement... That night I reached home and told amma about my placement... She was excited to hear...And then I called and told few of my friends and relatives about the company... I called Deepa and told her that, I have got placed and I told her that, there is something more interesting to be told to her in person.

Chapter 13:

January 12th 2005, Wednesday

I got ready and reached college bit early... I was waiting for Deepa... I told everything in detail, which took place these two days... I explained it to her for over two hours... I kept asking her whether she has any guesses as when will Hemanth call me...She called me a fool as I didn't get back his number... I always spoke about Hemanth to Deepa and I would keep lamenting about his call... I thought he would call me at least for congratulating me for getting placed in CTS... But he didn't call me.
Day by day, I grew sad and lamented to Deepa about my stupidity for not getting his number… We started thinking whether is there any way to find Hemanth's number... Got no idea...
Days passed on... No calls from him... Hemanth didn't note my number down in a paper... he just tried to memorize it and left the place… I too thought that, he would have forgotten my number and he wouldn't call me any more... And that's all; I thought... the chapter is close...
February 6th 2005, Sunday
Today is XAT exam... Another school friend Joanna told that she wants me to accompany with her to the exam centre... I thought I could join her... I had another purpose in my mind... Hemanth might write XAT as he couldn't get thro Cts... So I accompanied her... There I saw Hemanth's friend Karthikeyan, but not Hemanth...Again the attempt was a failure... And I decided to stop my thinking about Hemanth...
I didn’t know what is in store for me the next day...

Chapter 14:

February 7th, 2005 Monday

As usual I went to college. College got over by 4.45... I was speaking with Deepa till 6.30... I told her that, I have decided to put an end to Hemanth's thought and I shall never speak about Hemanth again to her... She commented that, it was a good decision... I reached home by seven. Refreshed myself... I was preparing for my next day's practical exam... A phone call came... I picked the phone... My college mate called me to ask a doubt regarding tomorrow's practical... I answered went to my room and started studying... Again after some time around 8, another call came and my mom took the phone... She called me telling a guy is on the line... I was thinking who can be that guy...I don know any guy... From the other side the guy answered……
"Hello! This is Hemanth speaking..." I couldn’t believe it... I was surprised to hear his voice. I never thought he would call me... But... Oh God, thank you so much...
He started the conversation casually as how was I doing... And congratulated me for getting through CTS interview... I wondered how he came to know about it...
He told that, he was there when I got my offer letter in hand and he saw me coming out. He was standing very near me, he said... But I didn't see him, and he too didn't speak to me. I asked him as why he didn't speak to me on that day... He told me that, he was a bit upset that he didn't get selected in the interview...
Today he has called me to inform that, he has got placed in HP, and he will be posted at Chennai... That was too nice for me to hear... Because most probably I shall have my training in Chennai only. He kept talking and I was all ears... I was just flying in air... For a thought which I decided to put an end has started again... He gave me his mobile number, and he told that, I can call him anytime... And his mobile will be either with him or his mom, and there is no problem in calling his mom too...
Oh God...how happy you made me today... Life is full of surprises, I tell you...
The conversation lasted for more than half an hour... My mom got tensed as she knew that, I was speaking to a guy for such a long time and for the first time... she was sitting next to me, and she was often asking me about Hemanth. And was asking me to keep the phone... but I was too happy that, Hemanth has called me and my mom's words were not going into my ears...
I was out of my world... I could remember nothing other than the words hemanth spoke to me... I kept thinking what all he spoke to me and what all I spoke with him...
That night was so precious to me... I was laughing for myself... Don know how to explain my happiness... But it was so nice...
February 8th, 2005, Tuesday
I was longing very much to tell this to Deepa... I went to her class directly soon after reaching college, I told her all the conversation, in detail, which I spoke with Hemanth.
She didn't believe me in the beginning... But later she believed... I asked her advise as when can I speak to Hemanth, she asked me not to delay, and asked me to speak this evening itself after the college gets over. The whole day during class hours, I was thinking about what I am going to speak with Hemanth, and how he would respond to it...
As soon as the college got over, I went to the telephone booth, which is opposite to our college... I wanted Deepa also to accompany me, but she had her special class in the evening and I promised her to come back and share everything whatever I spoke to Hemanth...
I went to telephone booth... I called him... It said the mobile is switched off... I called him for so many times and I got the same response all the times... I got fed up... There was an ice cream parlor. I thought of having ice cream and thought of calling him after some time. I had ice cream in a hurry, and I was keep thinking what I would speak to him, if I get the line... After ten minutes, I called him again... Again the same response... I was much worried... I was waiting for Deepa in the college campus for half an hour... She came straight to see me, soon after her class got over... I was sitting too sad... She asked me as why I was so sad... and I told her that, Hemanth's mobile is switched off... she asked me to try once again and we both went to the telephone booth... I asked her to try his number and wanted to know whether she would be lucky enough to get his line... But the same response once again... She consoled me and asked me to try tomorrow... Sadly, I left that place...

Chapter 15:

February 9th, 2005 Wednesday

Today there is some audit in our college. So the college started today by 8.30 and ended by one o clock. So morning it would be too early if I call Hemanth...I can’t speak to him leisurely... So I decided to wait till one o clock in the afternoon... Class hours were going too boring and it seems to move very slowly... One o clock came... I went to a local booth... I was nervous... I was not sure, whether ill get the line and speak to him... I dialed his number... Ring went... My heart beat was fast... He took the phone... Said hello... Thank you God... I am going to speak to him...
Me: Hi Hemanth, I am Charu speaking...
He: Hi charu, how are you...
Me: Ya, I am doing fine... yesterday I tried calling you so many times...but your mobile was switched off.
He: Ya... Ya... My mobile had been given for a repair... it was not working properly... Thatsy couldn’t use my mobile...
Me: Oh... ok... Now is it working fine?
He: No...Not yet... I have not got my mobile back from service... I thought you would call me...and so I have put my sim in my friend's mobile... And as expected you called me... J
Me: Oh... is it so... (I smiled within)
This was a short part of the conversation... We spoke for nearly half an hour... He speaks too much... I like it... It is because I don't speak much… As he speaks more, there is no problem. It won’t be boring... I was happy... he is jovial ... He keeps cracking some jokes and makes me laugh... the first guy who made me laugh and smile...
It was around half an hour and I was running short of money and time... So, having no wish to keep the phone, I told him that, it is getting late and I would speak to him some time later.

Chapter 16:

February 12th Saturday:

Today there is a function in my uncle's house in K K Nagar... So, we went to his house around 4 o clock...It is my cousin's upanayanam ... I know that, LIC colony is near KK Nagar, and as I was in my uncle's house, the first person who came to mind was Hemanth… He stays in LIC colony... My cousin Neeraja of 4th standard, wished to keep Mehandi in hand... so I went to a shop with her to get a mehandi cone... Hemanth was there in my mind most of the times in the past four days... I decided not to call him or speak to him, till he calls me... So I controlled myself for the past three days... Today I couldn’t restrict myself... I went along with Neeru to a pco and I called him... He was surprised that I'm calling from his area as he saw the number displayed in his mobile.
I told him that, I came to my uncle's house for a function and I thought about him and I called him... Was just like that, we were speaking for sometime and casually when we spoke, I asked him whether he has any girl friend... He said "yes, and that's the reason I keep beard...and I have become a psycho because of it..." "What... I couldn’t believe my ears... Oh... is it so..." He is in love with a girl...I felt sad... May be, the girl Manjula about whom she spoke to Fatima, in the bus some months before...was she that girl... When did they start to love? Do they still love? These were the thoughts going in my mind at random... I felt sad... I asked him to tell his love story...
He laughed for some time... Then he said, "Will you believe whatever I say... Hey... I just said everything for fun... No love story and all... and I keep beard because, my friends say that, I look good when I have beard... that's y." Then he asked me to note his mail id... (?).. He told me, he will mail me as he goes for browsing often... And he asked me the location of the booth from where I called... I told him the near by shop name, and he told that, his house is just five minutes far from there and he told that, he will be there shortly...
Oh... God... Thank you so much... I never expected this... I just thought of speaking to him... But now, I am going to see him... I became very happy... I was thinking whether I look good... I didn't refresh myself... I never thought I am going to meet him...and I didn't bother about how I look... Now I am bit worried... I asked Neeru, "as how I look now..."
She told that, I am looking pretty good... I felt better... We both went to a shop to buy mehandi cone which is next to the telephone booth...and as I was standing inside the shop, my eyes were focused outside... I kept looking whether he comes... He came in his bike... Yamaha... My favorite model... He stopped his bike near the bakery shop which was next to the shop where I stood, and started speaking with the bakery shop guy...
He saw me... I too saw him... We both smiled at each other. He looks too good... He was wearing a t shirt stripped horizontally with blue and white color... I don’t know how to go and speak. He was surrounded by his friends... Suddenly I got an idea... Tomorrow is friendship day. So I thought of giving him a card. Got a greeting card, and a small key chain... I bought a sketch and wrote some nice wordings... I came out of the shop and called him for just a moment... He came, and I gave it to him wishing him happy friendship day... We spoke for just few minutes and we left the place... I and Neeru reached home...

Chapter 17:

February 14th, Monday

As usual met Deepa in college and I told her about myself and Hemanth's meet. I told her, that I was worried as I gave him friendship card... Because, if suppose he loves me, he would hesitate to propose me after receiving the friendship card... I don't know... I was worried about all petty matters, when it comes to him...
Today evening Deepa told that, she needed to prepare a resume for her... she asked me to accompany her... So we both went to browsing center...for preparing resume. When I checked my mails, I found Hemanth's mail. He told that, mostly he will be roaming in our college area with his friends, for preparing some cd for his college day function... He was the college chairman for his department, he said...
In his mail, he mentioned a line telling that, He was not unfortunate, these many times to see me, when he was there near our college...He told that, he liked my gift and his mother also liked my gift very much.... He says everything to his mom, I felt happy about it. I replied for his mail telling that, it was me, who was not more fortunate to see him... I thought of calling him today, but I didn't wish to call him because, today is Valentine's Day and he should not mistake me for anything... So I didn't make him call...
February 16th, Wednesday
After college, I went for browsing to check mails... Hemanth has sent me a mail... He has mentioned that, he will be coming to my college this week end, to meet our Head of Department, for inviting her, for his college day function... he told that, he doesn't know exactly as when he will come...
I replied him, telling that, I’m waiting to see him...
I prayed God to give me opportunity to see him...in our college itself... Whenever there was break time during college hours, and whenever the lecturer didn't come for taking class, I started coming and standing outside the class expecting to see him...

February 18th Friday...

For confirming his arrival, in the evening after college I went to check mail... I was not willing to call and speak to him because; I felt that, he should not think that, I am behind him very much... I got his mail...
He has written that, He came to our college and met our Head of the Department... Again he has mentioned the same line, telling that, He was not very much fortunate to see me...
Does he know how bad I felt for not seeing him?
I replied him telling that, I will call and speak to him... I wished to call him immediately... But I restricted myself to call him... I want him to call me... I don't want him to know me in the early stage itself that I am fond of him very much...
I expected that he will call me on this week end, either Saturday or Sunday... But he didn't call me... I felt worried...

February 21st Monday...

My mood was not good... I was worrying... I thought, he didn't like me... He doesn't think about me... Only I think of him... He has no thoughts regarding me... Thatsy he didn't call... I went for browsing...just to read his old mails... I read... I was happy reading it again... I decided to speak to him...I came out and called him from a nearby booth…
Thank God, it was he who took the phone... I told, Hi Hemanth, I am Charu speaking... How are you...? The immediate response, I got was... "Yes...fine...Tell me Charu, why you didn't call me for so many days "... He told me that, he was expecting my call... He didn't call me because, he was not sure, whether if somebody else picks the phone, in my house, I will be left into trouble...
Oh...God... Even I have not thought about this, what my mother will think if a guy calls me...
It was no nice speaking to Hemanth... I thought, I wasted my tears unnecessarily... but as I didn't have enough money in hand, I couldn’t speak to him much... I told I will speak to him later.
He told me that, he will call me on all Wednesday's around eight o clock and I can call him any time... No probs for him... J
I said Thank you Hemanth so much, inside my heart... We spoke for nearly twenty minutes... He really makes me so happy, I love the way he speaks... He told that, I can expect his call on Wednesday and we both said bye and kept the phone...

Chapter 18:

February 23rd Wednesday...

I was waiting for evening eight o clock to come... I wanted to speak to him... I was thinking as what all I can speak to him... When it was around eight, I just sat near the phone... Five minutes past eight, the phone rang... It was Hemanth... I said a big Hi to him...
He was calling me from pco... We spoke for more than half an hour... My mother was busy preparing dinner and was speaking with the neighbor who came to our house... So it made me feel comfortable... I was speaking to Hemanth, without any fear... My father had not yet turned from office... So no issues... Everything was quite fine... We were sharing each others interest... He was telling about his family and I was telling about mine...He has an elder brother, who is working for a private concern, and his father is in Goa, working for State Bank of India. He stays with his mother. He told that, his mission statement is “He will never tell lie, at the same time, he will not tell the truth..." He was born on Dec 15th 84... He is a year elder to me... He told that, one of his friends gave a suggestion that, we both instead of spending money on phone, can meet and speak... I couldn't reply ok immediately as I have never spoken or met any other guy in public ... Also inside my heart, I have a deep wish of seeing him... Then I said ok to meet and I asked him to decide the place and time... J He told, he will decide the place and time and let me know, via mail... I decided to check mail on Friday.

February 25th Friday

I didn't get time to go for browsing in the evening, because was held up with college practical work. So I decided to go for browsing the next day.
Day by day, my thoughts about Hemanth started increasing... In my diary I started writing more about Hemanth... I understood that, I have started loving Hemanth long before... I don know whether it was love at first sight or I started loving him gradually... But I was sure that, I love him... I don know whether he loves me...
Hemanth's thoughts made me happy... But thinking about marriage, made me worry... I don't even know whether he loves me or not. And if suppose, even if he loves me, will I be able to marry him... I have been brought up in a conventional family. I don know what caste he belongs to. My parents will not accept for inter- caste marriage... I don know. I don have guts to propose my love or to face my parents, for love affair... Only today I started worrying... I was becoming serious regarding my love...
February 26th Saturday

I told my mother that, I need to go for browsing to collect some details on a topic for college assignment. But I went to check Hemanth's mail. So sad, he has not mailed me... I mailed him generally and came back home.
March 1st Tuesday...
Again I went for browsing today for checking his mail... Even today I didn't get his mail... I don't know what happened to him... why there is no contact from his side... I can call him... But I don wish to... It’s because of the same reason that, he should not feel cheap about me, that I am behind him... I decided to wait till he calls me... I prayed God, to make him call me at the earliest...
Around 8 phone rang, and to my surprise, it was Hemanth At first he asked me whether there is any problem as he has called me on a Tuesday...because he will call me on Wednesdays... "What problem I have... I was longing for his call...and it came... Casually I said, No, No, No issues." "He told that, he was in the midst of tension for the past few days... He has organized some function in his college, but due to some problem, the function was cancelled and he was the person in charge of the function, so many responsibilities were put on him. He told me that, he wanted to speak to me leisurely and thatsy he didn't contact me, during the past days... I said, "It is ok... And I didn't think about it much..." I asked him to take care... He told, as the next day was Wednesday, he will call me for sure and speak leisurely...

March 2nd Wednesday

I was waiting for eight o clock to come... My heart was beating fast... I had my dinner before eight, to attend his call leisurely... Or my mom will hurry me, to keep the phone and have my dinner. Sharply by eight, he called... I took the phone... Only till then, I was on earth. After hearing his voice, I was flying... We were speaking casually... My mom asked me, with whom I was speaking, I told my class mate's name and concentrated on the phone... Then he said, the main reason, for him calling me was, he asked whether he could meet me... Even though my heart, forced to reply me immediately, I just took few seconds, as if I am thinking about it, and then I said, ok. I asked him, "but, where to meet. I have college tomorrow". He said, that, “I have some work in your college area. I will come with my friend and wait in a shop near your college". I felt very happy that, I am going to meet him tomorrow... We spoke for more than half an hour...

Chapter 19:

March 3rd Thursday

Since yesterday night I was thinking about Hemanth... I was thinking what dress to wear, as I am going to meet him... I thought and thought so much... I was thinking what I would speak... It was my college area. How my friends will tease, if they see me, speaking to a guy... My mind was full with tomorrow's thought... Extra information is, tomorrow I have my practical exam...Soon after reaching college I met Deepa. I told her that, Hemanth has told me that he would meet me in the evening around 5 o clock... I asked whether she can accompany me... Because Hemanth told that he will come with his friend. And also I can’t stand alone, if he comes late. She agreed to come... In the afternoon, I had my practical exam... Thank God, it was an easy one... I completed it fast... But I was nervous. My mind was not under my control... After completing the practical exam, I came out. I saw the time. It was only four. I need to pass one more hour... Was bit worried. I was waiting for Deepa in front of her class. For her, the class was going on... She signaled me to wait for 10 more minutes. I said "ok".
I was thinking about Hemanth. She came after her class. 40 minutes more to go for meeting Hemanth. We thought of going to canteen and shall eat something to pass time... I wore a dark pink sarree today, a simple one, for which many of my friends have commented that, I look good in that saree... I asked Deepa whether I am looking good or tired... She kept teasing me, hearing my silly questions...
At last it was 4.50 and we decided to start from our college. The shop he specified was just five minutes outside the campus. I decided to get him a small gift... I just ordered for a key chain Inscribed HEMANTH in it... We both stood outside the shop... It was 5.15. He didn't come. Then I made call to his mobile. His father took the phone, for which I got shocked... I asked him, whether is Hemanth there... His father told that, he has not yet turned home and he enquired about me...I told him that I am Charu, Hemanth's friend. And he gave the phone to Hemanth's mom. She knew me well... She told me that, Hemanth has not yet turned home and will ask Hemanth to call me, once he reaches home... I thanked her and kept the phone... Oops...I was shocked... I didn't expect that his father would pick the phone...
Hemanth came with his friend in next two minutes... He introduced me to his friend Troy and I introduced Deepa to them... I told him that, Deepa is my best friend. Deepa told that she has some urgent work and left the place. And Hemanth's friend went and stood little far allowing us to speak... I don know what to speak, I was bit nervous... He was speaking to me and I answered the questions which he asked... I saw, most of my college students passing by that shop... I saw, few of my college staffs too... So I couldn’t speak to him normally. I gave him the key chain which I ordered for him... He said why these gifts and all, and he asked me sorry, for not getting me anything... I couldn’t speak to him more, standing there. I told him that, it was our college area and I couldn’t speak to him casually... There was a browsing centre nearby and he told that, we can go to that centre and speak. But to my bad luck, all the systems were busy... He understood that I was tensed, and so he told that, we can meet in some other better place and I started from there... His face and words filled my mind...
I slept late in the night...

Chapter 20:

Days passed. Everyday became the happiest day in my life. Our conversation increased. We spoke almost everyday. We started sharing our each others interest, past happenings; I guess we started understanding each other more. In a very short span of time, I felt my closeness with him. I understood that, my life would be happy, if he is there with me for ever... I was very sure that, I have fallen in love with Hemanth deeply. But I couldn’t tell him... I want him to be with me the whole of my life... I don have strength to lose his relationship by expressing my love... Deep inside my heart it said he also liked me very much... He likes speaking to me... He has told me, many times that, he had not had any girl as a close friend to him...so he doesn’t know how to speak to a girl, or move with a girl... And I am the first girl, with whom he moves very close. He was too good... Any girl would surely like him...for his charming face and entertaining talk...
I will often speak about Hemanth to Deepa. It was only she, who knows about my love towards Hemanth I will be telling our daily conversation to Deepa. ... I will ask Deepa often whether Hemanth loves me or not... She always supported me telling that, Hemanth would surely love me... And in love, it is always said that Guy only should first tell his love to the girl. So she asked me to wait, until he says about his love to me. I wanted to know whether Hemanth loves me ... Even if he doesn't love me, she asked me, to set my mind that, I should be very happy to get a very good friend in my life... I don't know whether I could agree to her point... But all I wished was I want Hemanth's company for ever...
Day by day, as my love grew towards Hemanth, Deepa decided to put an end for it... She decided to ask Hemanth directly whether he loves me or not. She got Hemanth's mail id from me, she mailed Hemanth.

Hi Hemanth,
This is Deepa, Charu's friend. Hope you know me. How are you doing? How is life Hemanth? Please can you do a help for me... Please let this mail be a secret between you and me. Charu is speaking more about you nowadays... But I don't know what she has in her mind regarding you... any way I just wish to know from you, whether you think her as your friend or your relationship is beyond that. Please let me know, so that, I can guide Charu accordingly.
But please Hemanth, let this mail be between you and me.
Thanking you,
Your friend,
Deepa.

Deepa didn't tell about this mail to me. A few days later she has went to check out, for the reply. She has received reply mail from Hemanth. His mail was,

Hi Deepa,
I am fine. Thank you for your mail. I will surely keep this mail as a secret. I will not let tell about this mail to Charu. And regarding my relationship with Charu, it is friendship (only). And nothing more beyond that. It is nice finding another friend in you. Take care. All the best for your exams.
With care,
Hemanth.

Chapter 21:

March 10th Thursday

The next day Deepa came and told about this mail conversation between Hemanth and her. But I didn't believe it. I was totally upset. I couldn’t control my worries. I felt like crying. But Deepa was there to console me. I believed very much that, Hemanth too loved me. But how come he told that, there exists only friendship between us. Deepa was trying to make my mind set, to accept the fact that, he thinks only as friend. But I couldn’t accept it. I was trying myself to be happy, in having his friendship at least. I told myself that I am happy. His friendship and care is enough... But my heart was longing inside for his love.
Days passed... As usual Hemanth will cal me and we will speak, I was able to feel his care and love towards me... I believed he too loves me... I couldn’t understand the reason as why he said to Deepa that, he considers me only as his friend... I wanted to ask him whenever he calls, whether he loves me or not... But tried hard, not to ask...

April 15th Friday

He called me today. He is yet to complete his final semester... He told that, his exam starts on 18th April... So we decided not to speak till his exam gets over by April 29th Friday... I thought of telling my love to him once our exams get over... If he doesn't love me, I have decided to set my mind for it... I think it would be very difficult for me to console my heart, if he says NO to my love... After some days, I felt that, I can be normal even if he doesn't accept my love. I just need his companionship throughout my life. I decided to call and tell him that I love him and I was ready to accept whatever he says. I didn't decide when to speak to him.

Chapter 22:

April 26th Wednesday:

I decided to tell him my love today. I don't want to keep it with myself anymore. Deepa advised me many times to hold my tongue till he says his love. But I couldn't wait anymore... I called him. I told him that, I am going to tell something. I said to him, "I don't know how to tell it to you and I don't know what you will think of me, if I tell it to you and how you will react." But he gave me comfort telling that, what so ever I tell him, surely he will not misunderstand me and speak to me well, and will not get angry at any point... (I think by now, surely he would have guessed what I am going to tell him...) I said, "Hemanth, I am in love with you... I couldn't keep it to myself anymore and I told you..." His reply to it was, "It is late, But expected." It means, he knew long before that I loved him. He told me, not to scare for anything. He is not going to disappoint me by telling his reply. He told that, he will tell me his reply, while meeting in person only and that reply will be in favor for me. I felt so happy and kept the phone. Tears rolled down my eyes hearing it. Happy tears. J
The next day I went for browsing and I wrote to him,

April 27th Thursday:

Dear Hemanth, (U will not be bored I suppose. Even if u r going to be bored. It is alright. Tolerate it for me.)
For the first time I am writing dear hemanth, which I longed to type long before. Hemanth 80% I am sure about your reply. But the rest 20% I am worried. If that 20% is going to come true, then I don’t know what will happen. So I want to tell u now itself. B coz if u r going to reply negatively then I can’t tell u later.
HEMANTH, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE U SO MUCH.
I don’t know how far u love me. But I am very sure that I luv u much much more than u like me or love me.
When did u realize or how did u realized that I have fallen in luv with u? How u did confirm it before I said?
Hemanth think 1001 times before u tell Ur reply.
Then,
I have a lot and lot to speak to u.
I FOUND LOVE,
WHEN I FOUND U,
I FOUND REASONS TO BE HAPPY,
WHEN I FELT UR PRESENCE IN MY LIFE.
Take care,
With luv, (For the last time or shall I continue writing for ever? only Ur decision)
Charu.

For this I got his reply on 28th April Friday,

Hi charu,
I really don’t know how to start my reply for these long mails; first of all I am happy for the change in the subject column from hai to dear. Hey do not confuse yourself too much. I assure u that my reply is surely a one that favors you. The reason why I delay so much is that, I want to say it to u when I meet u. Your 80% expectation is the one I am going to say (I think by this time u might have known that). My exams were not so good. It was average. I am starting to Goa tomorrow morning to my Dad's place. Will say u when I will come back to trichy in my next mail. I have many times thought about the relationship between u and me. I came to find that it was not friendship or a stage beyond that. The answer was, it was not friendship but I was unable to say to u because I was so hesitant that, what u will think, but as u said to me your love, now I am comfortable, but I am waiting for a right time to meet in person and to say it to u.
Now I am leaving. I will say my arrival in next mail.
Bye for now.
Hemanth.

I was happy reading his mail.

He is leaving to Goa tomorrow to his father's place. He himself doesn't know as when he will return. I was eagerly waiting for his arrival back to trichy and meet him in person and to hear his words. We always spoke over phone. Even after he went to Goa, we were speaking over phone. But I didn't ask him anything about his love towards me. Generally we used to converse. I always admire the way he speaks. It really makes me happy. What ever worry I have, if I speak to him I will become alright.
Days passed. He told he will come back to trichy by the end of May. Was expecting his arrival. At last he came. We decided to meet in a temple. The day was May 31st, Wednesday.

Chapter 23:

May 31st Wednesday

I reached temple first and I waited near the entrance of temple. He came. We went and worshipped God first and after that, we sat in a place. I usually don't speak much and I was excited very much that day that I don know what to speak. I wanted him to open the topic. He told me that, he knew that I love him long before and he also loves me. But he was hesitant, thinking what I will think about him, if he tells about his love. We spoke about marriage also. He told that, "Mostly there won’t be any problem for our marriage as we both belong to the same caste. And if any problem comes, we can face it together..." then we started speaking casually. Spoke for some time and we both left the place. My heart was filled with happiness.

June:

In the month of June, his father's job was shifted to Erode an other city in Tamilnadu. This is four hours from trichy. I got a new mobile and days and months passed by chatting via msg and speaking over phone. We both were counting our days of going to Chennai. He too was not informed about the date of joining in his company and me too. I dreamt a lot to meet him soon. I thought my life is going to be totally different in a new city with my lover being near. In the month of September, he got the letter from Hewlett Packard asking him to join on October 1st and I too got notice of joining in Cognizant in the first week of November.
Those days between June and October, nearly 5 months were the happiest days in my life. From morning around 10.00 am till 1.00 pm , we will chat via msg and in the afternoon when , my mom sleeps, I will call him and again in the evening we will speak for some time, will msg at all possible time, this was how I spent everyday. I was living in a dream land. I was thinking that, I will have a good time in Chennai with him. We will roam as many places we can, I thought I got the guy who is going to be there in all my happiness, sorrows, and who has become a part of every cell in my body. Hemanth will come to trichy once in a month, for some work, to meet his friends or relatives or telling any reason. So we were able to meet once in a while too. Even though we couldn't spend a long time when we met, we were able to speak for at least an hour. And that one hour will make my rest of the days in my month very happy.

Chapter 24:

October 3rd Monday:

He started yesterday night from Erode and came down to Chennai. I was much happier now, that now he can spend more time to speak to me, as now he is alone and is going to be with his friends only in Chennai. When he was in Erode, he must take care that he was not surrounded by his parents or brother. But now, there is no one to enquire him. So he can speak whenever he finds free time. He joined Hewlett on October 3 rd. Initially he stayed in his Uncle's house and was searching for a separate room to stay. To my bad luck, he was put in night shift and he needs to work from 9.00 pm to 7.00 am in the morning. He will reach home morning by 8.00 and he will start sleeping and will get up only by five in the evening. I too didn't wish to disturb him, though I found it difficult without speaking to him all day long, I couldn’t help it. So the time, we spoke became very less as compared with the time, when he was in Erode. Hardly had we found time, to speak in the night. But even then, we managed to speak. I thought this problem will be only for a month, after which I will go to Chennai and meet him and make my dream come true.

Chapter 25:

October 12th Wednesday:

When things were going right, something wrong happened today.
All of a sudden… For no reason…
He called around 9.00 pm, when my mom was keen seeing TV and I told my mom that, it was my friend and I started speaking with him. We were conversing generally and I asked him casually,
Charu: why do you love me, when there are so many other girls in the world...?
Hemanth: (He immediately replied, without thinking) “For time pass... "
Charu: Hemanth... Don play as usual... Tell me seriously, why you love me...
Hemanth: Hey, I am saying really, it’s for time pass only...
Charu: Hey... What’s this...? It’s hurting me... I couldn't bare these words... it pains much to hear...
Hemanth: charu, ya, I love you for time pass only... How long, will I love the same girl?? Hmm...
Charu: Hemanth, please stop this... pls... I feel like crying...
Hemanth: ok ok... leave it... tell me about something else...
Charu: Hemanth...No... First tell me that, you said “It’s for time pass" just for fun...
Please Hemanth...
Hemanth: Hey... leave it, I told.
Charu: Please, you tell me once that, you love me know... pls...
Hemanth: No, I won’t say... It’s for time pass only...
Charu: I couldn't speak more... I am keeping the phone for now... (Tears rolled my eyes...)
I covered myself inside the blanket and I was crying without making sound... His words hurt me very much. I kept thinking about the way he spoke, the words he used... "TIME PASS"... It had hurt me... For the first time I cried because of Hemanth... Why did he say so...? He knew well that, I am sensitive. Even then, how can he hurt me like this...?
I couldn’t accept myself that, he said it just for fun. I cut the phone, crying. I thought he would call me back and console me telling that, he said, just for fun... I waited for more than two hours. No reply from him. Not even a single msg. It hurt me more... My mother has long before come and slept near me and she was fast asleep... I couldn’t sleep. I could not even stop crying. I typed and sent him many msgs asking, why he spoke like that... Got no reply for it. I know, he will not be very busy in his night shifts... For every two hours, there would be coffee break, at least that time, he could reply me... But he didn't. I didn't sleep that night. I was keep waiting for his msg... It was early in the morning around 5. His shift would have got over. He could have replied after that. But he didn't. Then I decided and msged him, telling that, I will give him a month time, to decide whether he loves me or not...
After a month, if he thinks that he loves me, we can continue our love. If not, let us see our way and leave. It might be a wrong decision. But in that situation I took that decision.

Chapter 26:

October 13th Thursday:

I wrote it and slept around 6. I got up again by 8 and I completed my routine works in the morning. I thought how I am going to be without speaking to him for month. And what I will do, if he says the same after one month that he loved only for time pass. But I believed deeply that, it is not for time pass. He too loved me very much... I expected that, he would call me or msg me asking, as why I am taking foolish decisions as not to speak for month. When I can’t be without speaking to him for one month, he too can’t be like that know... It will be a pain for him too. I didn't keep the mobile down. I expected his call or msg any time. But, no response from his side. The whole day I was worried. I tried hard enough, to keep my face normal, as my mom should not doubt me. I could have msged him and asked him. But I thought, at least this time, let me control myself. I wanted him to contact me first. For passing one day, when I found it very difficult, how am I going to control myself for the whole month...?

October 15th Saturday:

No reply from him for the past three days. I don know what to do as why he is not replying me at all... May be, does he want to obey (?) my words, and he doesn't want to contact me for a month... But why should he take a month to reply for my question... He can reply me immediately for it. If he wants to think more, is not, 3 days sufficient. It was 6 months, since we told our love, what more he has to think about our love... why cant he speak to me soon...
I decided to speak to his friend Troy, whom I have seen once with Hemanth and I have spoken with him many times. He is also a very good, caring friend. I called him to enquire about Hemanth. Troy, told me that, Hemanth’s mood is just upset because, I have told that we need not speak for a month. He is a bit disturbed or worried because of my statement. I felt a bit happy. I felt happy because of the reason that, my distance disturbed him. So he loves me still... But I asked as why didn't then, Hemanth call and speak to me immediately. But Troy didn't have an answer for that. But I was happy that, I can enquire about Hemanth to Troy, for one month... And Troy also told me that, Hemanth will enquire about me to Troy. But I really found it difficult without speaking to Hemanth. But days passed.

Chapter 27:

November 1st Tuesday

Today is Diwali. Hemanth would have gone to his hometown. I longed to wish him today. I was thinking whether he would call me today. But he didn't. I wished that, all the festivals should start by Hemanth's wish only. I am missing Hemanth for this festival this year. His thoughts filled my mind. Till evening I passed time somehow. In the evening I decided to break my "one month silent" plan. I messaged him Happy Diwali to him and his family members. I thought he would reply me back...
He did...
He knew that, I am going to come to Chennai on Nov 3rd. He msged me telling, “Wish you a happy Diwali too... You are going to come to Chennai. For any help you need, I am there for you in Chennai to help you. Don be hesitant to ask me any help. And thanks for forgetting the anger and msging me. Will meet you in Chennai."
I felt very happy in reading this. His words are really very caring. But I didn't reply for that msg. I thought of wishing him as it is Diwali and one month is not over yet.
Still 12 more days are there to end.

Chapter 28:

November 3rd, Thursday

Today I am leaving my native Trichy and going to Chennai. Chennai is a very modern city unlike Trichy. New place, new friends, new environment, everything is going to be new for me. But for me, Hemanth is there in Chennai. With him, I might forget the whole world. I was waiting for November 12th to come to speak to Hemanth. From trichy took pallavan train by 6.25. My Uncle and aunt will receive me.
For few days I will be staying in their house and then will search for a ladies hostel and shift to another place. Hemanth, will help me in searching a new hostel near his place of stay so that, I can meet him very often, if possible everyday and roam around in the week ends...
I was traveling in train with all these thoughts... Also I decided to speak to him today itself. I don't want to post pone my days of happiness. I thought of calling him immediately. But as, he would be in the night shift, he will be taking rest now. He will be ready for his shift, evening by 5 0 clock. May be I can call him that time. I will tell him that, I have reached Chennai. He will tell me whether he loves me or not. Sorry, he will tell me how much loves me. Dream... Dream... Dream...was living in a dream world...
Reached Chennai Egmore by 12.00. Went to my uncle's house. There in their house, afternoon I had my lunch and slept for sometime... Evening I got up and refreshed. I went to temple. I messaged Hemanth. Hi Hemanth, “I have reached Chennai. I don't want to be away from you any more. I wish to talk to you. Have you made your decision whether you love me or not?" He replied me that, he will call me shortly and will talk over phone in detail. He called me. He told me, “Charu, I really love you. On that day, I just told like that for fun. But you took it seriously which I didn't expect at all. But any way forget it. There wont be any problem for our marriage and if suppose, any problem comes, we both shall face it together." And the talk grew for more than half an hour before we kept the phone. I knew this would be his reply. I was very happy after speaking to him. We also started thinking as when to meet.

Chapter 29:

November 9th Friday

I went and reported in our Cognizant Head office on November 3rd and we have 3 days of Induction Class in Tidel Park from Nov 7th till Nov 9th. I stay in my Uncle's house in Mylapore. I will take train from Mandaveli and will reach Tidel. On Nov 5th and 6th, Hemanth went to his native, so couldn’t meet him and Monday and Tuesday my aunt accompanied me, to go to tidel park, as I am very new to Chennai. So couldn’t meet Hemanth till yesterday. Today I told my aunt that, I can go alone and I started alone to Tidel today. I and Hemanth decided to meet today evening. Unfortunately to my luck, the class which will get over by 6, ended only by 7.30 today after distributions of ID cards, etc. Hemanth told that, he will wait for me in Tidel station. And his shift starts by 8. And for me, the last train to home is by 7.40.
I hurried to catch that 7.40 train. Hemanth also reached Tidel station by 7.40 and we both took the same train. Tidel to Mandaveli is just ten minutes far. We didn't get time to speak. He was in white color t-shirt. He looked too good. I was very happy seeing him after a very long time. My station came and I got down just to see him and train to leave the place...

Chapter 30:

Days were not, as I thought when I came to Chennai... I had continuous training from morning 9.30 till evening 6.00 and Hemanth was in night shift. He will be working from 8 till 4 o clock in the morning... He will sleep after reaching home, till 5 in the evening. And I can speak to him between 6 and 7 only, as after I reach my uncle's home, I can’t speak freely with him... So the time we spoke reduced very much. And during Saturdays and Sundays, he will sleep whole day or go out with his friends, that we found difficult to meet or it would be, one week end, I will go to trichy or the next week, he will go to erode...
But, if we have desire to meet, we can surely find time to do so... I was able to find time. But he couldn't. He only started telling reasons for not meeting.
I felt some change in the way he moved.
Things were changing fast.
I told him before that, "We both can join MCA in same university in correspondence. He told that, he will get one form, for me too, when he goes to university to get one for him.
But later when I asked him about it, he told me that, he went with his friends and has got admission form for him already. By the time, I came to know about it, the registration for that year's was closed.
Before it was like, "Charu, the secrets which I have told you, even my closest friend don’t know."
Now it is like, "See, if I have any secrets to share, I have my own friends... I don't feel like telling to you... Why should I tell you...?”
Before, we have spoken almost everyday... Everyday I will call him and he will also call me...
Now, he speaks to me, only if I make call...
And now, he says reason for not calling me that, "See charu, even to my best friend I spoke 3 months before. Why do you mistake me if I don't call you everyday...?”
Before I have told him my dream that, "Hemanth, I wish to be with you, walk a long way conversing. Hold your hands. Sit next to you and lean in your shoulder. “
His reply was, "Charu, I wish to fulfill your dream... Will find time and make chance to make your dream come true."
And now it has become like, "See Charu, you can hold my hand, but there will be so many girls who would be holding my hand and you can be one among it."
He didn't understand my feelings. Instead he has started hurting me.

Chapter 31:

November 26th, Saturday

I called him today evening. We were generally speaking. Today he told me all of a sudden, "Charu, we can be good friends... I don't think, love and all will suit me... I have my own dreams... Nowadays I have got wish of going onsite and all..." I felt like crying.
He told me all of a sudden.
But he didn't say any reason for his sudden change of attitude. He didn't say any reason for dropping our love. When I asked for reason, he said, "there is no reason, but I feel that, this love will not work out... We can be good friends..."
I am not good in arguing. But he is very talented in speaking, which I admire a lot in him... But, now because of which I couldn’t question or speak to him more. I kept the phone, crying.
November 27th, Sunday
I didn't sleep yesterday night. How is it possible for me to sleep? I knew one thing that, I couldn't live without him. I have become more dependent towards him. It’s only me, who created such dependency... Because I liked it. But now I couldn’t come out of it... I need him... this is all I know. I will call him and speak to him when ever I felt like speaking to him. If I didn't open this topic, he will speak so well to me... But when I speak about love, it will end in argument and I will keep the phone crying. Many days passed like this.

Chapter 32:

December 14th Wednesday

Today morning when I spoke to him, he told that, he will meet and speak to me in person today evening. I felt bit happy. That evening came. I told my uncle, that my bus got puncture and I’m waiting for the other bus to come so it will delay my arrival to home. He said ok... I was waiting for him in mandaveli railway station, which is near to my uncle's house only... He came in ten minutes. We were just walking around the station and speaking...as usual we were speaking casually for sometime, as if nothing happened between him and me... then slowly when we started speaking about love, he told that, let us be good friends as far as now, and not think at all about the marriage now. “I will be there in all your sorrows, happiness, you can share anything with me, I will help you in whatever problem comes" and he kept saying like that... All I need, is "I want him... I need him, throughout my life..." I thought that, when he is going to be there for me, in all my part of life, then I will be happy only... Even as a friend, if I have him for me, that's enough... I thought. Rather I could say, he didn't provide me any other choice... I need to go with his decision if I need his relationship.

December 15th Thursday

I decided to go with his decision. I agreed to be his friend. Today is his birthday. I had gifted him a shirt, which I wished him to wear on his birthday. I called him today morning to wish him happy birthday. He told me that, yesterday night in his office, all his friends, together celebrated his birthday. He cut the cake and they gifted him a t shirt. He told me that, he wore that t shirt today. I asked him, at least to wear it in the evening for some time at least. But he told me that, he didn't have the shirt, which I gave him with him. He has kept it somewhere else and he couldn't wear.
What can I do...? I didn't show my worry to him. I just showed as if I was casual and I kept the phone...
I think, my love story ended here…
There after he didn't call me... He will speak to me only when I call... If I ask him, why he didn't call me, he will say that he was busy or various other reasons. I thought, as a friend, he would be very close to me... And I understood, very clearly that, I can’t accept him as my friend; he was my lover only... Friendship can be transformed to love. But love can’t transform to friendship. I had practically experienced it. I couldn't think him as my friend... He is my lover, lover and lover
only.
I tried explaining him as far as I can, that I can't think him as my friend. But he was not ready to accept it. And my explanation just created more hatred for him towards me... He has decided to stop speaking with me. He didn't call me. I tried my level best not to cal him. But I couldn’t.
The love which I had towards him still pains me.
I wish to forget him... But I couldn’t...
End of my love story. But my love towards him still continues.

Chapter 33:

A girl can't find anything to hate in the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship’s over.)
The love which I had towards him still pains me...
I wish to forget him... But I couldn’t...

The End...

Chapter 34:

December 15th Friday, 2006

After his last birthday, I have called him many times and spoken to him. All conversation ends with, me… grumbling…

My friends have advised me not to call him anymore... Not to mail or msg him or speak to him…

They said, “He doesn’t care for you… He doesn’t give any worth to your friendship… Why don’t you think about it…? Why should you lose your worth for him…? There are so many people who like you so much… think about them…Digress your thoughts to something else…”

What ever my friends said was correct… I too knew it… he doesn’t have any concern for me, I know it… He speaks to me, when I call him…It might be out of pity… I know that, he is good… in spite of all these… I have no ego against him… Even if he doesn’t value me, it’s alright… I become very happy, whenever I speak to him… I am happy that, he speaks to me at least... That’s enough… That’s more than enough…
I hope and pray to God that, I should forget him …
Because, if I pray to God, to give Hemanth back to me, he may not grant my wish…,

Chapter 35:

2007
May 17th Thursday..,

More than a year had passed since Hemanth left Charu.
With her parent’s compulsion, she is now married to a guy.
She got married on Jan 26th 2007…
She has got a very good husband, who loves her and takes care of her very much...
She is lucky enough to get such a husband...
She also loves her husband very much...
Charu is of course living a happy life now...
Although Charu is engaged in her new world, Hemanth’s thought enter her mind at times... It pains her...
She still has not been able to find the reason as to why do Hemanth avoided her...

Now... Readers, you tell me…

You have read the story. I have tried my level best to explain Charu’s feelings.

What could be the reason, you think, as to why Hemanth would have neglected Charu’s love...? I should not say neglected. I would rather say, he withdrew his love.

And if you have experienced the same situation, or heard of such a situation, or what do you think, according to your point of view, as to why Hemanth left Charu...
Please send your views or replies to urcomments@rediffmail.com

Also, I wish to share my thought with every one of you...
Once you have felt that, you are in love with someone, think whether you are ready to marry them. Think about all the problems that will come out of it and whether you are ready to face the problems...

If you think, you can manage what ever problem comes and if you are ready to face challenges. Think in both of your life point of view. (From your side and lover’s side.)

I have heard various stories from my friends like this...

A guy proposes to a girl. She accepts his love in the beginning and later starts repenting saying that, she can’t leave her parents, marry him and go against them…

There can be three conclusions in this case...


1) Try hard to convince their parents, and get married and live life happily…

2) Or, if she surely knows that, her parents would not accept her love, she should speak about the family situation in the beginning itself with her guy. And decide a conclusion for the problem…either to continue as friends or to maintain distance in their relationship…

3) Or if she still knows the family problem, but she thinks that, she can’t live without that guy, she must be ready to sacrifice her parent’s affection…And take her life in her own hands at her own risk...

The same holds good to both…

Falling in love, with the guy is not a mistake… It’s natural… But not discussing, or thinking about the future outcome would be the mistake…

I wish everybody to have a happy love life...